"My most earnest of all pleas to singles is abandonment of the self, surrender to Christ of all unfulfilled longings, an unequivocal willingness to receive whatever God assigns, and a determination to practice the sacrificial principle of Isaiah 59:10-11. Life becomes not only far simpler, but surprisingly joyful and free."
4 years later
So I got an email last week about the 4th birthday of my tumblr. I literally can not believe I have derped around on this website for this long, and I stared at the screen all squinty eyed debating if I wanted to fist pump or if I wanted to cringe in disappointment.
Regardless, it also marks 4 years since I last graduated and this will for now, (most certainly be), the last graduation I will have. And honestly, I’m at a place in my life where…
I have never been so happy.
And I don’t mean like I’ve never been happy before, because honestly, I’m all about optimism and all that jazz. I mean, I’m at a point where, I know, life ISN’T always good. Life is hard, and I am bad at things…a lot of things. I compare my failings to the successes of my peers and I look at the wasted opportunities for evangelism and I am saddened. I am constantly reminded that I DON’T know what I’m doing with my life. I’m graduating and I have NO idea what I want to do. I’m kind of scared and I know must disappoint my parents to a certain degree because I could always do more (even though they are supportive and would not say that openly to me). But I must be honest and say, I kind of enjoy life this way.
In the midst of growing up and facing future uncertainty, I’m reminded that…I live. And I breathe, I laugh, I try, I fail. I will be growing until the day that I die. Not a day passes unordained by my Lord. In His constant care, I am free to struggle. I have come to the realization that life only gets better, but only because I have an unquenchable joy in the death and resurrection of Christ. Life only gets better because life only gets harder but I’m not alone. I will cling onto my God in weariness, in happiness, in times of apathy, because I am nothing but ashes in the wind! Dust here today, gone tomorrow.
Man, I’m so young. Like, REALLY young. Alright, so in medieval times I would be halfway over with my life, BUT this is the 21st century. I’ve got all the time in the world to fall in love with life over and over and over again all the while understanding that THIS life is a fleeting shadow in comparison to the life everlasting I await! I’ve got time to settle into a career, to struggle with money, to fall in love, to have kids, to grow old, to die! But I don’t care for these things if I were to be without Christ! Oh what a treasure it is to know the Lord. How sweet each inhale, how precious every heartbeat, how beautiful every challenge.
"Never forget that Salvation is a miracle of God."
"For if we forget that it is God’s prerogative to give results when the gospel is preached, we shall start to think that it is our responsibility to secure them. And if we forget that only God can give faith, we shall start to think that the making of converts depends, in the last analysis, not on God, but on us, and that the decisive factor is the way in which we evangelize."
Let us not forget that we can not come to know Christ without HIS giving us new life. He does not need our worship, for He is constantly worshipped in heaven. But yet, the beauty of the Gospel is that He chooses to save sinners that are uncomprehending of His worth.
"Conversion is not the smooth, easy-going process some men seem to think… It is wounding work, this breaking of the hearts, but without wounding there is no saving… Where there is grafting there will always be a cutting, the graft must be let in with a wound; to stick it onto the outside or to tie it on with a string would be of no use. Heart must be set to heart and back to back or there will be no sap from root to branch. And this, I say, must be done by a wound, by a cut."